Subtitle: Why Do Bad Things Happen to Good People?
For those of you who are friends with me on Facebook, you know that I posted that this past weekend I took to searching in my version of “Fibber McGee’s Closet” (okay, I had old parents who brought their old cultural references to me! Ha!), looking for a long, lost treasure. While the particular treasure that I had in mind is still lost among the shoes, craft items, clothes, etc., I found many other “treasures”, including old Christmas cards and photos of friends and family from long ago. Along with these items of now memorabilia, I found several small photos of my dear college friend, Susan’s, children when they were small. Susan and I were very close friends when I was at Blackburn College. We were both the same age and of the same major – elementary education. Susan was the friend that I studied with … laughed and partied with … cried a few tears with… the list goes on and on. However, after graduation, I moved to California, got married, had three kids … and never looked back at Illinois very much while swept away with life’s busyness. We were in contact now and again, she much better than I with sending Christmas cards and messages through the years and most recently reconnected on Facebook. I always remember our love and friendship with a huge smile on my face and I always remember her huge smile and heart that I know have not changed one bit over time. Most recently, Susan and her family have had to endure a horrible loss – one that is most parents lifelong fear – the loss of a child. Her teenage daughter, Anna, was killed in a car accident around Easter a year or so ago. I am sure that Susan recalls the exact date, time and minute this event occurred and is much more precise than “around Easter a year or so ago”. My heart continues to go out to her and her family. Anna’s school pictures as a young baby and small girl were among the treasures I found last weekend. A little girl that I only knew through pictures; however, the smile and sparkle always looked familiar to me as I saw those same attributes in my dear college friend. Just yesterday, Susan had posted a picture of her daughter from a Timehop memory. Many friends commented as I had with warm thoughts and prayers, but I had added, “I don’t know how you do it.” Her response sparked some thought on my behalf. She replied, “Thank you Carol, whenever people say that, we respond with “we don’t have a choice.” I don’t get it and prob never will but it is what we’re dealt with so I try to find joy each day. Not always an easy task. But Anna always found the joy….💜💜💜” You may be asking yourself as I have … why Susan and her family? … why this particular family was given this set of obstacles?
Many of you know that I have my current struggles in search of full time employment. There is definitely a back story with many sordid details that don’t need to be rehashed or relived. However, suffice it to say that I had a high level job in a school district involving curriculum and instruction and I really enjoyed what I was doing. I seemed to have made connections with almost everyone in the district except for my boss and that ended up with my name being taken to the school board for dismissal. I felt it was out of the blue but of course, there were signs along the way. I had done great work, created an awesome team, made connections with many teachers, staff, and parents, and even improved test scores. Completed the list of all the things to do personally to “improve” – do all as I was asked – but for naught. Nothing. Nada. I felt as though I was in one of those Spaghetti Westerns that my ex-husband watched time and time again. Out in the heat of the Southwest … sun blazing down … I become displaced with one of the hombres (although not a bad one, in my humble opinion) … looking side to side … facing my enemy … waiting for Clint E. to show up in his sarape, hat, and a cigar dangling from his lower lip. However, Clint E. never showed up to save the day. No hat and sarape … no instantly recognized music playing for his arrival … He must have decided to be Dirty Harry for the day and save someone else because the end of June came and bullets rang through the air and I was left, heaped in a pile and awaiting the arrival of the buzzards and other scavengers. For 27 years, I have always prided myself on my career – the jobs I had … the work I did. And while I have applied and applied with a few interviews sprinkled here and there, I still have not secured full time employment. Yes, I have asked the question, “Why Me?” “What did I do to deserve this?” “What could I have done to prevent this?”
So, I subtitled this “Why Do Bad Things Happen to Good People?” I know there are books on the topic, even. I’ve read at least one that was written by a Rabbi. At the time I read, when my friend Kathleen had been murdered, it made sense to at least help me to not feel completely helpless and alone but this question comes up time and time again. As I write this, there are earthquakes that have occurred in Mexico and Japan. Hurricanes have impacted several shores; most currently, the entire island of Puerto Rico is without electricity because of said hurricane. Homes lost … lives lost … even hope lost. I am sure that there are several “good” people out there asking the same, exact question – “Why me?”.
This past weekend, Thomas treated Andres and I to the movies and we saw Mother! with Jennifer Lawrence and Javier Bardem. *SPOILER ALERTS TO COME!!* If you Google reactions to this movie, you will see quite the array of responses. People either liked or hated it and there were very few opinions found to be in between. Much of the movie was allegory and metaphor – of which I enjoy – so I did like the film. There are many parallels to the Bible (which given the director/writer is agnostic or atheist is quite interesting) and Javier plays Him (aka God, Jehovah, the Almighty, etc). In several parts of the movie, Javier is seen trying to love and welcome everyone. He listens without apparent judgement. Chaos could be raining both inside and outside and Jennifer (Mother Earth) watches in horror, wishing that Javier would just do something to stop the madness. And, he tried on occasion but most of the time the people kept coming and coming and their free will prevailed. After reading Susan’s comment, I have thought about the graphic portrayal that this movie provided in regards to all these event happening without, what appears, to be a “good” reason.
I don’t have the answer to the question, “Why Do Bad Things Happen to Good People?”. If I did, I am sure that my money worries and woes would be over! We all have our ‘crosses to bear’ and yes sometimes those ‘crosses’ seem unbearable. I do think that Susan’s response actually is what I have been trying to do during this time of frustration and uncertainty – to find a bit of joy each day. Some days that is harder than others. At some point, I know these grey skies will clear up … but until then, this writer is putting on her “happy face” and continuing to put one foot in front of the other.
Two freeways diverged ... 